I’ve got carrots and apples aplenty, I’ve got liquorice and pellets galore, but I want more…. I want more horse treats.
The human tells me that there has been a trend of late for ranking all sorts of things. But apparently no one bothered to rate horse treats? Clearly equine intervention is needed to correct this egregious error.
And it would seem that I am the horse for the job. I have spent several years, well actually a lifetime testing a wide array of treats. you could say that it has been my life’s work.
So here it is the ultimate horse treat heirarchy:
1. The Horse Bakery Unicorn cookies
2. Watermelon lollies (definitely not that mushy devil fruit)
4. Licorice all sorts
5. Liqorice – Soft Darrel Lea only, don’t try to trick me with your el cheapo home brand liquorice
6. Barley sugars
9. Grand smith green apples only – They go lower down the list if they aren’t cut up
10. Moloasse Burgers – there are exactly what it says on the tin. But beware, your human may try to hide medications in this delightful concoction – DO NOT FALL FOR IT!!!
20. Carrots – some might say that these are ‘basic’ and they would be right, But I’m not about to turn up my muzzle at them.
999. Mints – Don’t care for these at all
You may have noticed that sugar cubes were not on the list, and while you may be thinking that this is an oversight I can assure you that it is not. Sugar cubes are what the human calls a training reward, so to me they are not a treat and therefore could not possibly have been considered for inclusion on this hierarchy.